Happy Birthday Chase & Reilly!

I can't believe they're one.


When I finally find the time to sit down and blog, the words usually pour right out - my fingers struggle to keep up. Tonight, though, the curser flashes and the screen sits blank as I decide how to begin. "I can't believe they're one" - this is all that is coming to me. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that they are an entire year old. Don't get me wrong, the last year feels like a decade, but at the same time- I cant believe they are one.

When I think back over the year, I mostly see Mount Sinai hallways and Ronald McDonald doors. Most moms probably see milestones that their kids have reached over the year, but we haven't had them home long enough to have those memories fill our minds. We were reminiscing last night about November 12, 2012- where we all were when the call was made. I was obviously the one making the call (or screaming), Adam was at work in Kitchener and our families were scattered here and there before they all rushed to the hospital to be by our side. The babies were born on a Monday, just after Adam and my parents had been down to visit on Sunday. Monday morning was like all the mornings before, with just a little more back pain. I did as much as they'd let me- showered and walked the halls a few times for water. On rounds that morning, they told me that they were just babysitting me, and that if all continued the way it had been going that I would go home for Christmas and then come back when the babies decided. I called Adam with that exciting news, he was thrilled and decided to leave his phone in the truck now that there was no real urgency- or so we thought. Not long after those rounds, the babies showed us that they had something else in mind. By 3:00pm- I had delivered triplets. A. B. C.. Doctors were talking to me moments before about all the risks and what to expect and I remember telling them that whatever they were telling me, they'd have to tell me again later because I wasn't listening to a thing they was saying. I remember little about those few hours. I know forsure that I was not prepared for the months ahead that would be spent in that very hospital. I had heard many stories about premies and multiples before delivering the babies, but I always tried to focus on the positive stories, the ones that made it, which was probably a good thing, but which also added to my naivety. I had no clue what a 25 week triplet looked like. And too soon would I find out. It was a few hours before we got to see the babies, they were kept in the resuscitation room until almost midnight, but sometime in the late afternoon they wheeled me and Adam in and let us meet our three little babies. I don't know if we really saw them. We saw machines, nurses, doctors, and monitors. The nurse that would become Chase's primary nurse, Mercia, she let me touch his hand and it was so tiny and surreal. The hours after that led us through rollercoasters that I hope we never have to relive. The nurses spent hours in the resuscitation room doing everything they could to give the babies their best start. Shortly after midnight we got the call that we could go and visit them in the NICU. The next few days are somewhat of a blur- made up of moments that I remember and moments that I try not to replay in my mind. Shea wasn't doing well from early on so the first 30 or so hours were mostly in regards to her and the fight she was fighting. Chase and Reilly too, but the focus at that point was on Shea. From that night on, that first week felt like an eternity. Shea fought as hard as she could, and we said goodbye to her at 9:30 pm on November 13th. We cried more that week than we ever imagined we could. She has been our angel ever since, and will always continue to be. And now we sit here, an entire year later reflecting on the past year- completely amazed by how far we have come.

I had no intentions of telling the story of the first day, or of Shea, but there you have it.

So here we are- one year later. I know I've said it before, but I could have never imagined we'd be where we are today. As I watched Chase and Reilly today, I couldn't get over just how happy they are. They are so happy! Chase lets you know- he is always laughing, shouting out, playing games and squealing about something. Reilly is more subtle. She sits back, watches, will reach for your hand, smile and blush. But they are both so filled with love its amazing. We have had two small birthday celebrations and I couldn't help myself from gushing over them- seeing how beautiful and strong and happy they are, its incredible. I know all parents probably feel this way, and it makes me so excited for my friends who will soon become parents, because it is so amazing. Chase and Reilly, Rei especially, have fought through so much. They were dealt such a hard hand of cards, and have totally come out on top. They have taught us so much, and will continue to show us what is important. Seeing them today, on their very first birthday, smiling, singing and dancing, brings us so much happiness. More than we could have ever dreamed of.

A year ago today we started out on this absolutely crazy journey. We have learned so much about ourselves, the world of premies, hope, faith and the importance of family. We feel so lucky to be celebrating this day at home with our two little monsters, and our ever-present angel, Shea.
We cant wait until next year, when their lungs will be even stronger and when they can be around more people, to have a big celebration!

To Chase and Reilly, (who we hope will one day read this)
Happy 1st Birthday! We love you so, so much. Thank you for all you have given us, for all you fought through to be with us, and for all the love you share with us each day. You have grown so much this year and we cant wait to see where the next year will take us! The world is better now with you in it. Happy, Happy Birthday!

 

This photo was taken by Chris from Click Photography. She is the founder of The Smiling Eyes Project, which is a project that donates photoshoots to families who have faced or are facing cancers fight. Our good friend, Jen Hamilton organized this for us and we had such a great time with Chris. This is the only photo we've seen so far- and we just love it. Check out Chase's red hair- which actually isn't red at all, and Reilly's amazing tummy time.